Stories
This page was created to let you hear 100% true stories that people have
experienced from the use of steroids. The stories are absolutely true, with
the only exceptions being that the person(s) names have been changed to
protect their identity. The stories have been told by the steroid user or
someone close to the steroid user themselves. We hope if you use, or have
been thinking about using steroids, these stories may help you think about
quitting, or never start to begin with.
Story #1:
John Smith, an electric company lineman is a former steroid user. He was
once arrested on charges of selling designer steroids. In the 1990s, Smith
trained for five years in a gym trying to bulk up, spending $200 a week on
legal supplements from the health food store where he worked. He could
never get himself to weigh more than 150 pounds or lift more than 185
pounds on an incline bench.
Within 20 weeks of starting on steroids, he weighed 200 pounds. He said, "I
could put on three plates (that's 315 pounds) and do 15 reps, and the last
one went up just as quickly as the first." Eventually, Smith was injecting
three drugs a day. Hospitalized with the bloody urine of kidney damage, "I
just laid off the orals and doubled my injectables," he said. Everyone
noticed my bouts of rage.
It was happening in traffic, even at work, Smith said. The cops were even
called there. On the rare occasion I went a day without going after
somebody, I'd make a mental note of it: Hey! I didn't go after anybody
today.
Smith finally quit steroids after he jumped out of his car to fight someone
and realized that he had left his car rolling forward with the door open
and his baby in the back seat. Quitting with a psychiatrist's help "turned
me into the incredible shrinking man," he said. I dropped back to 160
pounds. My hair, thinned by steroids, has not returned.
Story #2:
There comes a time in every athletes life when he or she faces the decision
of whether or not to take steroids. I entered and won my first contest in
1980, having trained consistently for three years. At the time I wasn't
even aware that such drugs were available. Because the information about
steroids was delivered to me in such a harmless way, I immediately got
excited about taking them. So my initial reaction was not one of fear, but
rather excitement at the possibility of achieving the results I craved so
badly. I agreed to try them.
When I began to see the results, something took control of me. I started
neglecting every other aspect of my life and needs as a human being. My
work, family, friends, and play time. I thought only of my workouts, of
being the best, of competing. I became obsessed with what I didn't have yet
and was unable to focus on the gains and progress I had made. I kept trying
to reach a state of physical perfection by increasing my drug use and
training intensity. Pretty soon I was taking everything all at the same
time.
I began to look more and more like a freak. People called me sir. My family
could only say, "God! You're huge!" Friends used to tell me I looked like a
statue. Little by little I was transformed into a monster of my own
creation, and I couldn't even see it happening.
I started powerlifting and breaking world records left and right. The
pressure from others to compete in bodybuilding was killing me, so I did
that and became successful in that sport as well. Forty-five pounds and a
few years later, I found myself doing the same thing to other people.
Suggesting steroid cycles, and offering to get them drugs.
I took every kind of steroid known to man while this trainer coached me for
the USA. You somehow associate the progress with the drug and not the
training involved. Physically, your body becomes dependent on the drug
because your natural systems shut down and expect chemicals to do the job.
When I tried to come off on several occasions, I experienced heavy-duty
crash points after about four weeks. Low energy, lethargic workouts, low
enthusiasm, irritability, and loss of appetite. It was awful.
Psychologically, I was suffering a major identity crisis. I was afraid to
look normal, terrified of blending in. Being a freak is what gave me my
fame. Being normal meant I would become invisible. Suddenly my estrogen
level went sky high. I looked puffy, felt small and depleted. My strength
was cut in half and my desire to train was vanishing. The sense of my body
being out of control made me crazy. I felt it was pointless to continue
pounding away in the gym only to get nowhere.
Emotionally the damage was incomprehensible. I did not know who I was
without steroids. The woman living beneath the armor of muscle was a
complete mystery to me. I lived in terror of losing everything I had gained
while I was on my cycle. I was afraid people competing would pass me by. I
felt ashamed of my physique. Every single day I would go over in my head
what my next cycle would be. I couldn't wait to get back on drugs. I would
take more each cycle, for longer periods of time just to make up for having
been off. If two worked great, five must be better.
Part of being an athlete is that you become vulnerable to the whim of every
trainer, coach, media person, promoter, and sponsor. They want freaks. So
you set out to be a freak, otherwise you'll go unnoticed. The things you
are willing to do for success are humiliating to think about.
Two years ago I met a man from England at the Mr. Olympia contest. He took
a liking to me and began to send me packages from England to help me in my
career because the drugs are expensive here and many of them are
unavailable. One of the packages didn't clear customs in Detroit. The FDA
and the local police made a controlled delivery to my house, and I was
arrested for possession of dangerous drugs. And so one nightmare ended and
another began.
I had to come off everything abruptly, and the legal war proceeded to crush
my world. I can't even say how much it cost me in attorneys' fees, court
costs, fines and therapy bills, but I do know that the emotional price far
exceeded the financial one. I am not a criminal you see, I am an athlete. I
am your basic old-fashioned girl whose obsession to be the best at
something ate away at her principles, morals, and personal standards to the
point of crime.
I had become unable to choose whether or not I would use steroids. I had to
take them. The sad thing is that this is acceptable behavior in "the
wonderful world of sports," so long as you don't get caught. Nobody
questioned why I was using. Nobody thought it was unusual. Everyone I knew
at the national and world-class levels was taking them just as I was. I
even bought steroids for major league ballplayers.
When I think about the decay that took place in my character while I was
using, the reaction my family had to me and my own blindness, I am sick to
my stomach. Today I no longer recall the euphoria, nor do I miss the days
of feeling larger than life. I rather enjoy being clean, learning my body's
natural response to my workouts. I no longer experience mood swings,
aggressive behavior or a false sense of superiority. I look much better
than I did then, and my face has returned to its original feminine self.
I was a hard, suspicious, neurotic woman while I was taking steroids. That
just isn't me. I've seen marriages dissipate, families break up and
financial security dissolve because of these drugs. I've seen men go on a
cycle of drugs with the money they had saved for their children's clothes,
and I've watched innocent victims get thrown across a bar room for no
reason by men who haven't the ability to control their aggression while
using. I've watched happy, energetic and positive guys go from Dr. Jeckyl
to Mr.Hyde, and I've seen petite women turn into hulking no-neck bearded
monsters with acne all over their backs and shoulders.
Why do we view ourselves and others as inferior, untalented, inadequate and
wimpy because we may not happen to be 250 pounds of solid muscle, ripped to
the bone and stronger than nine parts steel? When did the standard in our
sport change? What happened to raw talent, hard work and believing in our
ability to progress?
I could go on forever posing questions that I don't have the answers for,
but I hope that at least one person will decide not to use steroids because
of my story, or a few people in the same situation will become aware, as I
did, and stop before their tragedy comes back to haunt them.
Story #3:
Kicking steroids was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. You go
through terrible withdrawal. It takes six months to a year to completely
get them out of your system. But once you're clean, it's worth it.
Competition drug testing actually saved my life because steroids were
destroying me.
Do you want to know what happened to me the night I kicked steroids? Well,
I had taken $2,000 of my hard-earned savings money I had put in the bank to
buy a house some day, and I ordered some HGH (human growth hormone.) I'm in
the bathroom all by myself. I live alone. No one knows I'm there. I'm ready
to plunge a two-inch needle into my gluteus muscle. I catch a view of
myself in the mirror. I see zits breaking out on my arms and chest. My face
is bloated. I say: You know what? This is insanity! Insanity! The
unmanageability of my life right now. I've just taken two grand from my
life savings and look at me. I'm ready to inject myself with a human growth
hormone derived from the pituitary glands of dead people who aren't even
tested for AIDS. I called the guy the next day and told him to send me my
money back. That was the last time I took steroids and thank God, it will
remain the last time.
Story #4:
(This story is told by one man about someone he was very close to growing up.)
I knew a guy (we'll call him Jimmy Smith,) who was liked by everyone. He
use to be my best friend. He and I began lifting weights at the same time
(while we were in high school.) He and I both vowed we would never use
steroids. We both talked about steroid users everyday as well. How they
have such weak minds, they don't train as hard as someone natural, they eat
whatever they want and still stay lean etc.
We both graduated high school and and then went off to college. Jimmy all
growing up got straight A's in school, was a great athlete who excelled in
wrestling, football and then bodybuilding, and was a great friend to many.
I don't know what made him just suddenly change, but it seemed like out of
nowhere, he began hanging out with people that we use to talk about
(alcoholics, and drug users,) staying up late, and just being in a bad mood
all the time.
He was living with a good friend of his off campus (for free), and he told
Jimmy he had to leave because he was just getting out of control. Jimmy
left and moved into the dorms with his girlfriend. All Jimmy cared about
was lifting weights. He ended up quitting the college football team (his
dream was to go to The NFL.) He became very abusive and his girlfriend (the
love of his life) broke up with him and kicked him out of her dorm. He
ended up getting his own apartment.
She ended up getting a new boyfriend and when Jimmy found out about this,
it made him furious. He went to her dorm one night and broke in. Her new
boyfriend was there. Jimmy beat the crap out of her boyfriend and ended up
going to the county jail for 30 days. While he was in jail, he wasn't able
to workout or eat well and he lost 15 pounds. He then got out of jail and
said he was changed for good. He said he did nothing but read The Bible
while he was in jail and it changed him. He said he was done using steroids
because he realized how crazy they made him.
Well, that lasted for about 2 days and then he was injecting all over
again. He said he was just going to finish the steroids that he already had
because there was no use in wasting them since he had already paid for
them. (This is the denial that steroid users go through.) Well, his
behavior started all over again. He ended up spending all of his money on
steroids instead of paying his rent. The landlord then evicted him. All of
this has happened to him before he ever even turned 25 years old. I am not
very close to him any more because of the way he has changed because of his
use of steroids. The latest I heard of him, is that he is working at some
boring job that he hates for $9.00 an hour. I loved this guy so much. I
still do. I'll pray for him everyday and hope that he starts believing in
himself the way he use to and can get his life back on track and become
somebody special- the way we all expected him to be. God bless you Jimmy.
Story #5:
(This story is told by a father about his son.)
My son Cory was a parent's dream. He was the child everyone wished they
had. He was a great student, a great athlete, and he always did his chores
without being asked. We were best friends. We did everything together. He
would always tell me his problems and share everything he was going through
with me. We had trust in each other.
When he got to High School he began to change. His grades started going
down, and I noticed he was always moody and his skin was breaking out very
badly. I never for a second thought that he might be using steroids (even
though he had grown so much,) I just figured this was part of going through
puberty. One day when I came home from work, I walked into his room and saw
that he had blown his brains out. It wasn't until later that friends of his
told me that he was using steroids.
